Thursday, March 01, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #29

Thirteen of JAM's Favorite Quotes By Great Philosophers

1. Some days, it just don't pay to get out of bed. - Foghorn Leghorn

2. That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball. - Foghorn Leghorn

3. Always carry a litter bag in your car. It doesn't take up much space, and when it gets full you can just throw it out the window. - Steve Martin

4. If you fill a swimming pool with dry ice, and let it melt, can you then swim in it and not get wet? - Steven Wright

5. I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away. - Jack Handey

6. I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye. - Jack Handey

7. No one can pull the wool over my eyes. Cashmere maybe, but wool, never. - Thurston Howell III (Gilligan's Island)

8. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned. - Mark Twain

9. I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy. - Ernest T. Bass (Rock throwing genius on The Andy Griffith Show)

10. Gun-drawing practice, ten minutes every day. If I ever have to use this baby, I want to teach it to come to papa in a hurry. - Barney Fife

11. Nip it. You go read any book you can find on the subject of child discipline and you'll find every one of them is in favor of bud-nipping. - Barney Fife

12. If brains was lard, that boy wouldn't have enough to grease a skillet. - Jed Clampett

13. I've got a wife, two kids and 10 finance companies to support. How am I supposed to pay my bills? - George Jetson

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Jane said...

Funny list!

jenny said...

great list...i had fun reading!

happy tt!

christine said...

You brought back such great memories of me watching cartoons as a child. Foghorn always cracked me up. Loved them all - but especially #2.

Happy TT - Mine are up too!

Dragonheart said...

LOL! :D Too funny! Those are great. :) Thanks for the laughs!

julie said...

Steven Wright..he is one messed up comedian..deadpan DRY humor at it's finest!

I like your number 12...I'll have to use it soon.

Happy TT glad it's still continuing...check out my list.

Gette said...

Steve and Steven rock! Very sound philosophy on both parts.

Angela/SciFiChick said...

I miss Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. Too funny.

BeckyD said...

My favorite?

No matter how much he begs, never play leapfrog with a unicorn. SOmeone will get hurt. It won't be the unicorn.

~coffee mug

Great list

Christine said...

LOL! I miss the old shows, Like Gilligans Island, The Beverly HillBillies, and The Andy Griffith shows. Todays shows are too much drama, and not enough comedy!
Your list made me laugh, Thanks!
Have a great Thursday!

Marsha (Big Sis) said...

These are hysterical! I remember some of them! Love me some Foghorn Leghorn!

Crystal said...

I LOVe quotes - especially funny ones, lol.

Hammer said...

Excellent, I remember a lot of those :)

Qtpies7 said...

Haha! Great list! If brains were lard!
My boys are at that stage where parents don't know anything, lol. We keep telling them to wait until about 25.

Chelle said...

I hope you have a "March-Mellow", too. :)

Babystepper said...

I see that, like myself, you spend your time studying the world's greatest philosophers

Skeeeeezix the Cat said...

This is an exsillint list! Jed Clampet and George Jetson are 2 of my faverit filosofers.

Susan said...

This is a GREAT list!!! I love the quotes. I love "Thurston Howell the III's" quote...toooo funny. My husband used the Mark Twain quote several times from the pulpit...because we believe it's so true.

Have a great TT is up, too.

:-) Susan

Sparky Duck said...

any blog that uses foghorn leghorn is aces in my book


Great quotes. Love #12.
Thanks for visiting my post on the Photo carnival. I do appreciate it a lot.

Douglas Cootey said...

I love that Mark Twain quote. Great list!

My Thursday Thirteen