As our daughters are getting older, they are less and less prone to the intentional embarrassment Lovely Wife and I once had so much fun heaping on them. They now just roll their eyes and sigh, longsufferingly. Like, "Oh, the stuff we put up with with these two. Tsk, tsk."
But there were several good years there where we could strike terror in their hearts at will. Alas, those days are all but gone now.
If we were all planning to go somewhere where school chums of theirs would be, Lovely Wife or I could come out of our room after 'getting ready' and they would be all, like "You're not going to wear THAT are you?!" (Because we were wearing something stupid to mess with their heads.) And, wide eyed and with our best innocent look, be all, like, "Well, yeah? What's wrong with this?" and you could hear the fear in their voices and you could tell by the look on their faces that they were picturing the reactions of their friends and the later jokes at their expense that their friends would visit upon them.
Once I was taking the girls through the drive through window at Taco Bell and they asked me what I was getting. In a very loud voice with a horrible Spanish accent I said, "Nachos Bell GRRRRRRRande!" And I can. not. roll. my. R's. to save my life. So it sounded extra stupid.
They thought it was funny at first, until I told them that I was going to make our order like that at the speaker thingy, and they started to panic. I mean, they wanted the food, but not the embarrassment. And as we crept closer and closer to the speaker thingy, I was practicing my "NACHOS BELL GRRRRRRande!" and saying that's just how I was going to order our food.
They begged and begged. No Daddy! Please don't do that Daddy!
Wooooeeee, that was fun. Of course I didn't order like that, do you think I'm nuts? But their fearful anticipation was priceless.
And just after we moved to Florida in 1996 Number One Daughter presented me with a great opportunity for some fun. You see, she's an optimist, and at the time, was a big Hanson fan, what with MMM Bop being such a smash hit and all, and diligently wrote a fan letter to Hanson in which she invited them to her birthday party coming up in a month or two. (Note: She still is a Hanson fan, and went and saw them at the House of Blues a just a few months ago.)
At that time, I had just started learning to play guitar, and it was painful to everyone within listening distance. So, when she would hope aloud that Hanson was going to be able to come to her party, I would say, "I sure hope so too, Honey. Because I'm gonna get out my guitar and JAM WITH THE BAND!"
She would get the most horrified look on her face. You could tell she was just picturing and hearing it in her head, and I got so many laughs out of that one. I mean, you could see in her face that she was picturing me destroying the vibe. Priceless, just priceless.
But most things must come to an end.
That's the way things go. Kids grow up and parents no longer can have so much fun at their expense. Number One Daughter works, and Number Two Daughter just started her senior year of high school.
Where did the time go?
And why did such great opportunities for fun go running off with it?