Thursday, June 29, 2006

I Coulda Been Rich!

I was gonna say: I coulda been Huge! But I realized, hey, I AM huge. Just not in a good way. I'm not huge, as in popular, but as in gravitationally challenged.

No. What I want to talk about is this: It's too bad we can't make a living at what we are REALLY good at.

My greatest talent is untangling things. Shoestrings. Knots in most anything.

My specialty is untangling all those tiny women's necklaces that end up in a jumble in their jewelry boxes somehow. (Why are they so thin?)

Coupla weeks ago, Number One Daughter comes home from work. I had given her one of those retractable do-hickeys that you clip your work badge onto. It reels out like fishing line and after you've scanned your badge, it snaps back to your shirt. Excuse me. Blouse.

Kinda like a janitor's keychain, only smaller.

Her do-hickey was all tangled up; a mess!

Took me less than thirty seconds and she was ready for work the next day.

I stood on a chair and beat my chest and gave a blood-curdling Tarzan yell, and…

Well, no I didn't, actually, but I did get a warm, fuzzy feeling for having helped her out with a modest display of my true talent.

Man! I'm good at that!

If only I could do it for a living. People would come from all over to have me untangle their stuff. Maybe move to L.A. and untangle all the gold chains of those rappers. Heck, if they'll throw down $800 for bottles of champagne (sham-pag-nee) think of the cash I could make off of those guys! Their gold chains are important to them. (Nah. Better not. Those east coast rappers would get upset because of the whole east coast / west coast thing and would probably bust a cap in me.)

But I coulda been RICH, I tell you.

If only. It's the story of my life.

And yes, I do realize I ended a sentence with a preposition up there. But it's my blog. So there.

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