Saturday, July 29, 2006

Me, Myself, and I

Man! I REALLY don’t feel like typing a blog post.

But, you know, you have been doing pretty good there Dude. I mean seriously. You’ve at least put something up there every stinkin’ day, seven days a week for months now!

He’s right you know.

What do you mean?

Well, at least you’re honest. Most people who don’t have anything to say just don’t post anything, but here you are, trying to type up a blog post. You’re complaining, but your butt is in the chair and your fingers are just a-goin’.

But I’m blank! (smacking head with heel of hand) Nothin’ goin’ on up there! Comprende?

Calm down there Big Guy. You’ll get through it. Don’t give up the ship. Never say die. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.


Sorry. Got carried away with the old sayings. Scratch that last one.

Yeah. Lot of help you are. All you have in his hour of need is lame old sayings, only two of which are even applicable. Gyah!

Hey, I’m tryin’, ok? He needs our help and encouragement, not the two of us arguing!

You’re right. (four pouty lips, in unison) We’re sorry!

No problem. At least you guys are trying to cheer me up, even if I have had a TOTAL brain fart here.

Israel? Floyd Landis doping allegations? Bush?

Yeah, Bush, do that! EVERYBODY hates Bush!

Nah. I like Bush. I support Israel. I still believe in Floyd Landis. End of story. See? I covered all three topics in, what, twelve words?

You, Big Guy, are the master of the understatement. We’re just trying to help here. Just a side note, there Dude, but I bet you would make a GREAT headline writer. Maybe not write the stories themselves, but the reporters would bring their stories to you and you could create the headline titles for them. You know, like that old guy in that Shipping News movie?

Yeah, take a chill pill, we’re just trying to help ya here.

I’m sorry. I already explained the other day how I over simplify things, and when I’m in this kind of mood, well, it gets even worse. Three major topics covered in twelve words. At that rate, which is, what, four words per topic, on average, I would need to talk about 62.5 different subjects just to write a lousy 250 word blog post. No offense, but "ain’t no way" I’m gonna sit here and think up 62.5 subjects, and then write the requisite 4 words per…

Ok! Ok! Cheeze Whiz there Big Guy! I surrender. It’s not like it’s the end of the world if you don’t have a blog post one day. Who’ll notice?

Hate to say it Big Guy, but I agree with him. Just lay off for one day. Then do your usual Sunday Picture Post and then you won’t have to write again until Monday! Yeah, that’s the ticket! That’s almost like a weekend off, isn’t it now?

I guess you guys are right. I do appreciate your tryin’ to cheer me up and tryin’ to help me come up with stuff and stuff.

Sure we’re right! Plus, we’re tired. Let’s go to bed.

I hate to agree with him again, but he’s right. Let’s just go to bed, take the weekend off, and start fresh on Monday. Whadda ya say?

You guys go ahead. I’ll sit up and try for a little while longer. I’m determined to come up with a blog post.

Even if I have to ‘phone it in.’

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