Thursday, April 20, 2006

I'm Gonna Tell You Why...

I think Fat people are fat, and skinny people are skinny.

Yesterday, they guy in the cubicle adjacent to mine, had at his desk, one, count 'em, one, Krispy Kreme donut, neatly wrapped in an official Krispy Kreme bag that could have only held one donut.

I didn't know such things existed. I have never, ever, ever, been to Krispy Kreme and left with anything other than a BOX. And said box being at least big enough to hold six of their magical confections.

And, to top that, where I work, the company sometimes pays for donuts or a meal to get a bigger draw at meetings, and I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE CUT A DONUT IN HALF AND ONLY EAT THE HALF THEY TOOK.

It just blows my cotton-pickin' mind.

But I'm learning from these people. I went to the doctor this morning and have lost 11 pounds in the last 4 weeks, which for me is fast. And this rate of two to three pounds a week is Dr. approved as well. Bonus.

So, any other heavy loads out there besides me who wonder how they stay so skinny and you stay so fat, watch what 'they' eat.

Hey, does anyone out there remember sniglets?

Think way, way back in the mists of time to mid to late eighties on HBO. They had a comedy program called "Not Necessarily The News." It was mostly sketch comedy, but one of the comedians on there, Rich Hall, had a segment where he would go over words for things that people sent to him. Words definitely NOT in the dictionary, but were useful in referencing wordless things.

For example:
Lactomangulation - When trying to open up a cardboard carton of milk, you screw up the 'open here' side so badly that you turn the container around and open the 'illegal' side.


Motspur - A shopping buggy with one wheel that rolls funny or just barely touches the floor and spins around while you push it.


Discomburbulation - Trying to open the refrigerator door really fast and catch the inside in darkness before the light comes on.


Aquadextrous - Having the ability to turn off or on the bath water with your feet.

That was a really funny show. It would be cool to have tapes or DVDs of them.

Anyhoo, just thought I would share...

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