In my lame attempt to keep at this Thursday Thirteen thingy, I'm back to stealing meme questions from other people's blogs.
1. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie. That's a stupid question. What, is this kindergarten recess show and tell?
2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms? Yes. I remember a pair I had in the sixth grade (73-74) that were way bigger than my feet. I was so proud of them then. I'm so ashamed now.
3. Have you ever written a song? I've written lyrics, but have never put music to them.
4. Can you make change for a dollar right now? Heck no. I've been married 22 years. My wife doesn't let me have that much money on me.
5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex’s public toilet? Sort of. When I managed restaurants, I cleaned a mean bathroom, both the men's and women's. (From those experiences, I found out that many people are disgusting pigs.)
6. Have you ever smelled your own feet? Of course. This is one of those questions I don't think anyone can say no to if they've ever played outside in the summer. But, since I became an adult, I always buy odor eaters for all of my shoes. They really work. I even have odor eaters in my slippers. (No, I'm not kidding.)
7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries? On the side please. I walk a tightrope of OCD mania when I eat things with my fingers. I wipe my fingers off after EVERY bite. I go through some napkins, believe you me. (Sorry about that, Sheryl Crow) Ketchup on my fingers might push me totally over the edge. I'm not kidding either, it's a whole mental dance that happens in my massive cranium whenever I eat foods with my fingers; half-way between gluttonous desire and Howard Hughes hand-washing mania.
8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose? No. I can stick out my tongue AND touch my nose, but I CANNOT touch my tongue to my nose. Comprende?
9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout? No. My older brother was a Cub Scout, and my mother tried the den mother thing and I think she almost had a conniption (nervous breakdown) one time and that ruined my chances of ever doing that. I actually never wanted to, but I couldn't have if I had wanted to. Hmmm. I wonder if someone poured ketchup on Sainted Mother's fries at that Cub Scout meeting and sent her over the edge, and doomed me to the same affliction?
10. Have you ever broken a mirror? No. I don't remember ever breaking one, but now that I think about it, my life really sucked between 1987 and 1994, so it's possible.
11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole? No. Big Sis used to try to talk me into touching my tongue to those aluminum ice trays with the big handles that you pulled up to break the ice loose, but even as a kid, I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was up to no good. Come to think of it, Big Sis is still up to no good. If nothing else, I have a strong sense of self-preservation. Never try anything you're being asked to do if the asker will not demonstrate it first. Plus, I've seen A Christmas Story about a million times like everybody else.
12. What is your biggest pet peeve? The religion of global warming. Just the fact that the proponents of the global warming scare are now trying to get us to call it global climate change so they won't have any more embarrassing things like the cancelled global warming conferences this past winter due to blizzards makes my point for me. If they can get everyone to stop saying global warming, and insert global climate change instead, then during the cold winter months charlatans like Al Gore can raise more money. (I'm cynical, sue me.) It's tough trying to promote your beliefs in global warming when folks are seeing blizzards and record low temperatures on the weather channel. As a Christian, I have tried to speak to people over the years about spiritual things, and have had everything from good, honest communication to being cussed at like you wouldn't believe. So I have a bit of an idea what global warming believers feel when their pronouncements are rejected by people like me. For the record, I believe that the earth is warming, but in a normal, natural cycle that paleoclimatologists have told us have happened many times in the earth's existence. I just don't believe that man is causing it, nor do I believe driving hybrids and using flourescent bulbs help matters one iota.
Oh yeah, radical Islam is a close second.
13. Do you slurp your drink after its gone? Yes, but ever so gently so as to not annoy those nearby.