Saturday, May 19, 2007

Some Things Are Hard To Take

I cannot truly relate to y'all just how incredibly blessed my life has been.

Now that I'm in my mid forties, I can look back with my 20/20 hindsight and see just how good I've had it.

My parents were crazy in love until my Dad's death in 1994, 42 years of marriage. They started "going together" when they were in seventh grade. How blessed is a kid's life whose parents are like one?

I had good childhood and teenage friends.

I was healthy.

But one thing that I always thought helped make it seem as if I'd lived a charmed life, was that I knew all four of my grandparents. The first one to pass away did so when I was 20 years old.

I had the blessing of knowing all four of my grandparents while I was an adult. Looking back, and after knowing all the people I've known through the years, I see how great a blessing that was.

And over the years as things have happened, as our daughters have said and done incredibly cute things, there have been many, many times I wished that one or another of my loved ones who have passed away were still here so that I could tell them about it.

That's one of the hardest things in life to me. Compared to what many have had to deal with in their lives, and maybe still have to deal with, things like my chronic pain pretty much pale in comparison.

I try not to let my hurt and my bouts of depression affect those around me, but I sometimes wonder how much I hurt them with my withdrawal from life from time to time.

I do know that if I summed up my life in a big ol' list of things good and bad, my life has been and is still better than many millions, maybe even billions of people on this planet.

But in this man's world, the one wish I would love to have granted would be to have an opportunity to spend some more time with my Dad, Father In Law, Mother In Law, Big Brother, Grandparents, who have passed away. Just to sit and talk a while, maybe have some good food together. Give them all a hug.

I miss them.


Sharon Lynne said...

Your lucky to have some good people to miss. I miss my grandmother. When I was young, I was afraid of our water-skiing boat, so I stayed with my grandmother while mom, dad and brother went on vacation. Eventually I began joining the family. But I still enjoyed spending time with grandma.

The memory of her faith in God and attitude toward life, keeps me going today...if she could do it...I can do it.

It's a good thing that you have good memories of your loved ones! And many good memories are still to be made... Perhaps one day in a grandchild's memory, you will be an unforgettable grandfather!

photowannabe said...

Good memories and good family. That's the glue that hold life together.
I wasn't so fortunate. Both sets of Grandparents lived in Minnesota and my folks and I lived in California. i never really knew them, though I loved them and the great letters that flew back and forth.
Now that I'm a Grandma myself I try to be there for my kids and their kids.
This past weekend was spent with son and family at their home while doing paperwork etc. on our new home. I wouldn't trade the time with them for anything.
I am truely blessed.