Thursday, April 19, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #35


13 Tips On Finding A Good Barber Shop (For Men's Haircuts)


1. Well, Duh! They have to have a barber pole out front! Not some bogus barber pole painted on the building's front glass either. A real, attached to the wall outside the front door, red, white, and blue barber pole. Extra points if the barber pole spins too.

2. When you walk inside, you must smell a strong smell of hair tonic. You know, the old-school, spice aftershave kinda smell? Yeah, that one.

3. When you look around, you MUST see a broad cross section of working men waiting for a haircut. Plumbers with beards, engineers in white shirts, pizza delivery guy, and a couple of known good men from church helps too.

4. Beware of walking into an empty barber shop. Sure, there are certain times of day when it's possible for a barber shop to be empty, but it's almost impossible to find a GOOD barber shop that's empty. Waiting is part of getting your hair cut, so suck it up!

5. Although this is getting harder and harder to find in this day of AIDs and all, but if you walk into a barber shop and see a customer with shaving foam over the tops of his ears and a barber carefully shaving around his ears with a straight razor, you can take it to the bank, this is your barber shop. Some barber shops only do this on request these days.

6. If there are mounted deer heads and fish on the walls, this is a very good sign.

7. If there are ten years of back issues of Field And Stream and Guns And Ammo magazines, and lots of sections of today's newspaper laying around, this is also a very good sign. (If they have Maxim and GQ, then RUN, do not walk, RUN out the door. That's a deal breaker there.)

8. If you happen to see someone get a world-class flat-top in the shop, even if you just want a regular hair cut yourself, you've found your new barber. If he can do a killer flat-top, he can do a great regular man's haircut in his sleep. With fingernail clippers.

9. If you see a stack of those padded booster seat/boards leaning against the wall for young boys to be set at the proper height for a haircut, that's a good sign this might be your barber shop.

10. Real barber chairs. They have to look like they were made and mounted to the floor in 1935, and have that big arm on the side so the barber can raise you up with a satisfying ker-klunk, ker-klunk, ker-klunk. This is also the sign of a good barber shop.

11. If the barber shop is full of barbers and customers who are all on first name basis with one another, this is a good sign also. Part B of this is if you can detect early on that some of the guys in the shop just come in to visit and hang out. Real barber shops are also somewhat of a hangout for regular guys.

12. They have to have mirrors both behind and in front of you so you can sit there and contemplate the infinity of your own reflection in the receding views. This is also a must.

13. If the barbers have those little wooden handled brushes with the cream colored bristles to brush the hair off of your neck and face, this is another good sign. Add bonus points if the last thing he does is to shake a little talcum powder on the brush for your final brush down.

I could go on and on here. There is much to the makeup of a good barber shop. A good barber shop and a particular barber you're willing to sit and wait on because he cuts your hair really well is a hard thing to find.

The barber I have gone to for years here in Palm Bay doesn't have the mounted deer heads and fish, but the owner and his son are both barbers there, and the owner's grandson is an up and coming stock car racer in the southeast, so there are racing pictures and car photos of the boy through the years on the walls instead. I don't like NASCAR, but I can sure relate to the pride of a boy's dad and grandad in his efforts to make something of himself in a competitive sport like that.

Plus, the John Wayne clock on the wall there makes up for any missing stuffed deer heads and fish.

Can't go wrong with men who still honor John Wayne like that, now can you?






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23 comments:

Coco said...

Funny post, even though I won't be needing it since I won't need a barber... :D

jenny said...

unfortunately, hubby doesn't go to the barber shop...i cut his hair and he seems to be ok with it no matter how i do it,lol!

but really funny post! i enjoyed reading it!

Sindi1968 said...

There is a perfect barber here in St Petersburg, Brentwood's Barber, with the exception of deer heads. They do everthing mention in your post and also have a hand held massager for the men's neck. I used to take my nephews there, now they are old enough to go on their on.
Have a great day.

JAM said...

Coco, that's cool, I was just thinking about the barber shops I've been in over the years and all the commonalities of the good ones. This is tongue in cheek, but half serious too.

Jenny, I wish Lovely Wife could cut my hair. I'd let her, but just after we were married I let her trim my mustache and she cut my lip open with the scissors, so...

sindi1968, yeah, the taxidermied animals and testosterone havens of old are slowly dying out with regards to barber shops. My Dad was a barber in Monroe after he retired from the oil field, so I like the old-school barber shops. The worst hair cuts I've ever had are the few times I've gone to a "stylist."

Chelle said...

I'm passing this handy reference list on to my husband. He is such a GIRL when it comes to his haircuts.

Denise Patrick said...

Interesting post. Thankfully, I don't need to go out and find a barber.

Dragonheart said...

Great advice on finding a good barber shop! My dad is an officer in the Canadian Forces, so finding a good barber is very important. Military haircuts must be precise!

This Eclectic Life said...

Great list, John. I can't say about men's barber shops. But, if The Duke is on the wall, I would say it's a winner.

Lady G~ said...

Perfect timing! My Knight's looking for a new ah... dare I say hairstylist? LOL! Love your list.

Goofy Girl said...

Haha Love the post, sounds like you've got a great list for finding that real barber! :)

Mitchypoo said...

All I can say is, you are such a dude! But I've had my hair trimmed at a barber shop of which you speak in Oregon. And the x-hubby went to a particular barber years ago who served beer and barbecued deer meet on Saturdays... Happy TT!

Babystepper said...

Sounds like you've found a real winner. My husband has just started going to a barber instead of taking the electric clippers to his own head. It took me almost 7 years of marriage to convince him that a professional with scissors was a better option.

Hammer said...

I agree and all the barbers have to be over eighty and bald too :)

Angelika said...

That is an odd way to pronounce comments, LOL. What kind of accent is that?

I am favoriting your blog as part of the Technorati Favorites Exchange. :-)

JAM said...

angelika, it is a stab at saying comments in my southern drawl, cah meunts.

scooper said...

No boys around here, but it sounds like a great setting for a short story.

Tilly Greene said...

The cutie goes to Joseph, next door to the diner and bookshop. Always full, even during the week. Love the guy because I know what his secret passion is to give out for Christmas pressies - a specific calendar each year :-)

JennyMcB said...

I'm thinking you like the hot shaving cream too, right?

Di said...

I'm guessing this would NOT be what my son, whose hair is almost to his shoulders, would like.

Gattina said...

He, he, nice descriptions of barber's shops, but your forgot one thing ! The barber has to be Italian ! they are the best worldwide !

Finlands finest said...

That is great!! I love the old barber poles..the world needs to keep good traditions like that@

Travis said...

It's tough to find many of these kinds of things up in the northwest. I had an experience at a real barber shop when I was a boy - got my first flat top at one.

But being raised most of my life with my mom, she started taking me to the - GASP - beauty parlor for haircuts.

Now I mostly go to Supercuts, although my lady has found a pretty good barber for me. This post makes me re-think my sartorial strategy.

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