1. Cosmerosmerous - My paternal grandfather was a nut. Really funny. One time when we arrived for a visit, he asked me, "How's your cosmerosmerous?" It was a word he made up on the spot, and mean either nothing or whatever I wanted it to mean. For all the years as I grew up and until he died, we would ask each other "How's your cosmerosmerous?" as an inside joke between the two of us.
2. Y'all be particular, now. - Same grandfather, different saying. Whenever we would get in the car to leave, he would always say, "Y'all be particular, now." It was his way of telling us to be careful. We still say it to one another in the family. A while back, I said it to one of Number Two Daughter's friends, and then had to explain it. She later reported that she says that to people now, and it confuses them. But it seemed fitting that this old saying of my grandfather's has found new life in Florida.
3. Scrumptafee-magnocious - My Uncle Al would say this when something tasted particularly good and he was asked how it tasted. I still say this sometimes, but it has to be something really worthy of such a magnificent word.
4. Hair over - This is a momism that Sainted Mother coined. She was describing to us an interminable wait in a doctor's office one time and said, "I sat there until I thought I was going to hair over." It doesn't make sense, but it was funny. I got the mental picture of her, in time lapse photography, of sitting in a chair and growing hair all over her.
5. Clintwood Eastwood - Years ago, one of Big Brother's girlfriends was at our house and was trying to come up with Clint Eastwood's name, and when she remembered it, it came out Clintwood Eastwood. Mr. Eastwood has been Clintwood to me ever since.
6. Rubbed him off - Same girlfriend of Big Brother's as in #5 above. We were watching a movie in which one guy tracked down and killed another man. "Oooh, he rubbed him off!" was what came out instead of "rubbed him out." Murder victims have been "rubbed off" to me ever since.
7. You be hushed - Another of Sainted Mother's momisms. She was trying to get a smart alec Younger Brother to shut up. "You hush!" came out as "You be hushed!" So of course Younger Brother and I tell one another to "be hushed" at times.
8. Pa-Jo-Mark - Another momism. It's a wonder Younger Brother even knows his name. When Sainted Mother was upset or excited and tried to call him, she would start Big Brother's name, then my name, and finally Younger Brother's name. When he was a kid he probably thought his name was Pa-Jo-Mark instead of just Mark.
9. Spartacle - Big Brother had visited Younger Brother back when Younger Brother lived in North Carolina. They were flipping channels, trying to find something on TV to watch. The Kirk Douglas classic, Spartacus was on one station, and Big Brother exclaimed, "Let's watch Spartacle!" From then until Big Brother's death, we would ask him if he wanted to watch Spartacle.
10. Earthquink - When Younger Brother was a little kid, he pronounced the word earthquake as "earthquink." Some of us joined him and within the family, these natural disasters were "earthquinks."
11. Bum - For some reason, I never got a good explanation, Don C. (my Dad) pronounced the word "bomb" as "bum." During the Gulf War in the early 90s Don C. might mention all the "bumming" that the U.S. was doing in Iraq. We would then say something like, "That's terrible, that they would load all these poor men who lived on the streets into planes and drop them on foreign cities." He was not amused, but took our ribbing in stride.
These last two will take a little more explaining since they are actually sign language.
12. Picture this: right hand in a fist, held up by her right ear, and making a rotating motion like using the throttle on a motorcycle. - In American Sign Language this actually means something. To Lovely Wife, it means, "I need a q-tip. My ear itches."
13. Picture this: right hand held up in front of you, wrist bent such that the fingers are pointed away from you, and opening and closing the fingers and thumb like you would if your hand was inside a puppet. - This is Lovely Wife's sign for "Where's a pot holder, I need to get these cookies out of the oven." I think this actually means something in ASL too, but around our house, Lovely Wife just wants a pot holder so she doesn't burn her fingers getting something out of the oven.