1. Lovely Wife's a girl, I'm a boy. - Yeah. This one is a big Duh-huh, but since we are both heterosexual, it's an important point.
2. Lovely wife loves raisins, I hate them. - Lovely Wife sure loves her some oatmeal raisin cookies, but I have to just smell them and be satisfied with that.
3. Lovely Wife's a little bit country, I'm a whole lot rock 'n roll. - I'm the life time president of the I Hate Country Music Society Of America. Lovely Wife loves the nasal twang and goofy double-meaning country lyrics and everything. But that's OK, she's listened to a lot of my stuff over the years, me having to listen to the occasional country song is doable. I do love to hear gigantic Les-Paul-through-a-Marshall-stack crunch, with a screaming wah-pedal lead for topping.
4. Lovely Wife is usually cold, I'm usually hot. - Lovely Wife had lap-band surgery a couple of years ago and lost a lot of weight, now she's become a true Floridian and puts on a coat when the temperature gets below 65F. When I'm comfortable, everyone else is putting on sweatshirts and jackets at work.
5. Lovely Wife loves pork chops, I don't like 'em. - I like pork products like sausage and pepperoni, but that's pretty much it. Lovely Wife could eat pork chops every day of the week.
6. Lovely Wife is a "right side of the bed" person, and I the left - This is judged from laying on your back on the bed. It is a happy co-inkidink for a couple to be different on this matter.
7. Lovely Wife digs network TV shows, me, not so much. - Don't get me wrong, I've watched a lot of TV in my time, but I have already stopped watching Lost, House, etc., because I just lost interest. I'd rather work on digitizing slides and reading. When I have the TV to myself, I tend to watch the Hitler Channel (History Channel actually, but they show lots of Nazi Germany stuff), Discovery Science, etc. (Groucho Marx said, "I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns it on, I go read a book.)
8. Lovely Wife will use the self checkout at Wally World for a whole shopping buggy full of groceries, I don't use it unless I can carry everything I want to buy in my hands. - This one freaks me out, that self checkout lane always screws up something no matter how few items I have so I can't imagine using it for a couple of weeks worth of groceries. I'll wait in line for an hour before using the self checkout lane for anything over 4 items. I'm wimpy like that.
9. Lovely Wife goes to sleep in under 10 minutes, every time. I wish I had a dollar for every hour I spent laying in the dark wishing I could sleep. - No kidding, I could pay off our mortgage. Lovely Wife will lay there for a minute, flip over, lay there, flip over, lay there, sigh, and I'll ask what's the matter and she says, "I can't get to sleep." I say, "You've only been in bed 94 seconds, I've been timing you." A few minutes later I hear her in the regular breathing of sleep. I feel like yelling and waking her up sometimes. Not really, but she has only rarely known the pain of insomnia.
10. Lovely Wife is GREAT with directions and finding her way around any town. Me, not so much. - Seriously, I totally have to fake it with reasoning to find my way (hmmm, it's 4pm, so that means the sun is in the west, and I know I started out north of the house, so...), and she remembers street names and if she's been a certain way once, she can do it again a year later. For example, when we go to Tampa, she knows a shortcut off the main highways that begins in Kissimmee and cuts off a lot of miles. I've been this way several times, but if you put a gun to my head and told me to do it today, I would just tell you to save us both some time and go ahead and shoot me. I find me a path to where I want to go, and I drive that puppy every. single. day. She likes to mix things up and find new ways. Consequently, she can take me less than a mile from my home while blindfolded and leave me, and I'd never be seen again.
11. The Three Stooges. - This one is self explanatory.
12. Lovely Wife can swim very well, like the swimmers on TV. I can juuuust barely keep from drowning. - No lie. She can do laps in a pool as long as she wants. She does that smooth freestyle stroke and can tilt her head where her face comes out of the water for a breath and everything; just like the Olympic swimmers. I have always envied this. She tried to teach me to do this early on, but I flunked out and gave up after swallowing about 100 gallons of water. So, unless I'm in rough seas, I can swim good enough to get from point A to point B, or to the side of the pool.
13. Lovely Wife really, really likes coffee. I really, really DISlike coffee. - She's always trying to trick me into tasting something with coffee flavor in it to watch my reaction, or to give me a big smooch with coffee breath when I'm unaware. Yuck, too bad coffee doesn't taste like it smells. I love the smell of it brewing though.