Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Ten Lies My Mother Told Me
I was tagged by Jessica at Life As I See It to do this meme.
I must confess, that this was pretty much impossible, and if Big Sis reads this she might be able to add a few I can't recall, but here's my attempt:
1. Your face is going to get stuck like that! when making a face at her or a sibling.
2. Sitting really close to a color TV is bad because they give off radiation. No, no simple ruining your eyesight for MY mother. Well, now that I think about this one, it was probably a convenient excuse to not replace ye olde black and white TV with a color TV. I guess it does give off radiation, but not plutonium or uranium type deadly radiation. Just think of how we're bathed in radiation all day long. Radio station's and television station's broadcasts, cell phones, bluetooth devices, wireless internet, satellite stuff being beamed down on us.
3. Eating chocolate or too much candy causes pimples. Boy. I'm glad this one wasn't true. I'd have been a human pimple otherwise.
4. Put some sleeves on or you'll catch a cold. "Put some sleeves on" was how Sainted Mother phrased "put on a jacket." As a smart aleck teen I would tug on one of my short sleeves and say, "I DO have on some sleeves. They're short, but they're sleeves." Plus, it was Louisiana, not Alaska.
5. Don't swim right after eating. You'll get cramps and drown. This one never made sense, but I was a self-taught, poor swimmer as a kid so I didn’t take chances. As an adult who knows better, I'll brazenly get in our pool right after eating. Of course, our pool is only 5 feet deep and I'm 6'2", so if I had some mysterious cramps while swimming, all I have to do is to stand up.
6. There really is a Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, etc. Pretty common lie, I guess.
7. You are the milk man's baby. Actually, this isn't as cruel as it sounds. When little, I was blond while everyone else in the family had dark brown or black hair. My parents said people would look at mom, then dad, then me, and get a strange look on their face, as if I weren't their's. As I got older, I found out that the inside joke between my mom and dad was that I was the milk man's baby.
8. Those pants look fine on you. As a quickly growing boy, I hated "high water" pants. Oh well. I survived the playground jokes. Sainted Mother was just trying to eek out a little more time before having to shell out more cash to buy me new pants.
I tag no one.
If you are in need of a subject for your blog one day, feel free to steal this and have at it.
I was pushing it here and still couldn't come up with 10 lies. I guess my family was more boring than most.