Saturday, February 23, 2008

My Second Post as a Liberal

For those of you shocked at my abrupt about-face in yesterday's post...

No, I haven't gone insane like most of the rest of America.

I just thought I would write a post from the viewpoint of a political liberal.

I thought it would be hard to do, but it's frightfully easy, actually.

I didn't have to think at all, I just meditated for a few minutes and let my touchy-feely side write that post; thus giving myself a brief view through the window of liberalism.

It's not about the thoughts and logic, it's ALL ABOUT FEELINGS.

Seriously, even our "news professionals" on TV are getting all mushy when Barack Obama speaks, and they speak in wondering tones about Obama's magnificence, I thought I'd better follow that old, wise dictum: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

See, Barack Obama has folks passing out and peeing on themselves at his speeches like a Beatles concert in 1965, and the man says nothing. Nothing at all.

He just stands there looking Presidential and every five seconds or so, says one of the following: "Change!" "Hope!" "For the children!" "Believe!" until 20 minutes are up and then he moves to the next town that is clamoring for him to come speak to them.

In regards to this phenomenon of people crying and fainting at Obama speeches, just three days ago, Number Two Daughter looked at me and asked: "Is there something I'm missing here? I don't get it?"

I almost started crying, not because of Obama's greatness, which is truly great, but I almost started crying because when she asked me this, I realized that I WASN'T the only person in America who thinks Obama is an empty suit. (Remember, this was several days ago, when I was still an evil conservative.)

But as I watch news coverage of the the Presidential campaigns, and they invariable show a few seconds of Obama, long enough to hear a couple of heart-felt "Change!" and "Hope!" and I realize that, according to the news, his election is all but sealed.

We can save America many millions of wasted dollars in what would have been the rest of the campaigns up until November by going ahead and declaring Obama the new President.

Hmmm. Today is Saturday, so, lets just go ahead and inaugurate the guy this afternoon and be done with it.

But blogging will be much, much easier from here on out, since I've become a liberal. I don't have to think or use logic at all any more; I just have to let my feelings flow onto the page (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).

The only hard part is that, as an electrical engineer working in the design of digital circuits, I WILL have to still think and use logic while at work.

This dichotomy might cause a great deal of problems in my life.

Back when I was an evil conservative AND an engineer, I got used to thinking (which is hard work) and using logic all day long.

Now that I'm "with it" as a liberal, and see just how easy it is to spout liberal mantras without worrying about messy, problematic things like actually thinking hard and using logic, it's going to be difficult to shift into logical thinking for the nine hours or so I'm at work every day.

That will probably be hard to do, but maybe I can figure out a way to write the VHDL code for Field Programmable Gate Arrays (FPGAs) by feeling.

Nah. I don't think my bosses would like that at all. Most of them are evil conservatives who demand that I use logical thinking while at work.

Sorry folks, gotta go.

Now that I'm a liberal, I'm gonna go find somebody that I can call a Fascist!

This is going to be so much fun. And easy too! No real thinking involved.

Just kidding folks. I don't get the Obama thing, and had to poke him with a sharp stick.


Leanne said...


You're so snarky. I love it.

Big Doofus said...

I'm converting. In fact, just yesterday I went out and made my very own "I LOVE OBAMA" sign and put it out in the front yard. Too bad I misspelled it and substituted an "S" for the "B" on accident.

Qtpies7 said...

I like your satire!
My son wrote a really great paper on How to be a Liberal. It was hysterical! I'll have to have him find it for me.

The Rock Chick said...

Even though I am one of those liberals, this is a riot! Being snarky myself, I can totally appreciate good "snark" when I see it and....I see it!!!!

You know I'm on the Obamabandwagon (always have been-when he won the Senate seat for Illinois, I told hubby he will be President soon), but he doesn't make me dizzy, faint or want to hit the floor.

He and Hillary are really pretty much the same on the issues so I think it has come down to a popularity contest on the Democratic side. I like that he's getting people excited or at least interested in an election.

I think there's been a long standing feeling of "my vote doesn't count" going on. After the 2000 elections, that may have changed a bit, but I think he is getting people excited to vote and that's a good thing.