The other day as I was heading into work I was stopped behind a grey Hyundai Sonata.
On the rear window of the car was a bumper sticker that read ominously: Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History.
Being the brilliant sort when it comes to translating high-minded and high-falutin' speech, my blazingly quick mind almost instantly translated this to plain spoken southern American English:
I'm a mean, vindictive, bee-yotch that would just as soon step on ya as look at ya, so watch out!
(Please excuse the language.)
Then as I sat there thinking that women who make history rarely drive Hyundai Sonatas either, a woman's hand reached out and flicked a green and white Marlboro menthol cigarette hard pack out of the driver's side window onto Sarno Road.
Having read the bumper sticker and realizing this woman was a real piece of work, it also hit me that I couldn't recall the last time I saw someone blatantly throw litter from their car like that.
Here in Florida, you can have your windows tinted very dark, and the windows in this Sonata were very dark, so I couldn't see but just the basic outline of the woman's head, and of course her hand as she threw the cigarette package out the window. But I would have liked to have seen her face to file away for future reference.
I wanted to know what she looked like so that if I ever encountered her in, say, Walmart, I'd know to head down the next aisle and avoid her.
But then again, a woman who is as great as she obviously is would never stoop to shopping in Walmart like a low-life such as me, so I guess I shouldn't worry too much about encountering her there.
Jerk. Times two.
8 comments:
litterbugs are the scum of the earth.
People with attitudes like that bring out all my baser instincts. I just want to key her little Hyundai.
All because of a bumper sticker!! lol.
when i was in nigeria EVERYONE threw trash out the window. It was so gross. I would have a piece of garbage and be holding onto it to throw it out once we got somewhere with a trash and someone would always grab it and throw it out the window "because that's how we do it here." weirdest thing in the world to me
Don't you wish she would get fined? We have litter fines posted here, something like $358.00 for first offense but I really wonder if anyone ever gets tagged. I actually don't see many throwing things from their cars anymore so how does it endup on the side of the road?
If one has a bumper sticker on their car they better heed what it says.
I nearly cry when something accidentally flies out my window! I feel so bad. I can't imagine actually littering on purpose. I do remember my parents doing it when I was young, though. It wasn't a big deal then, I guess.
You know, you rarely see good bumper stickers any more either! Glad she found one that clearly represents herself.
I remember when I was little people used to throw everything out the windows...cups, cigarette packs, etc...you're right, you never see that anymore! Thank goodness!
Love the translation by the way! You crack me up!
Jessica
I had a friend who use to really get worked up over litter,he'd yell at the person" In the next life you'll have to be the garbage picker for everyone everyday all day! And you'll hate every second of it! HA!
Are you paying over $5 per pack of cigarettes? I buy my cigarettes over at Duty Free Depot and I save over 60% from cigs.
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