Friday, September 07, 2007

The Party Pooper's Guide® #2

[I found where I had written this almost a year ago without having posted it on here, and since I've been having great trouble finding time to write posts, I decided to post it today in it's entirety.]

Warning: A rated PG-13 Post!

I have a dark side to my humor, that gets little airplay here.

So, in the vein of my Thursday Thirteen #12 last week, I'll post an occasional The Party Pooper's Guide®.

The Party Pooper looks at life sideways.

For example: I saw this small news item recently...

Urination Will Go To Committee

A local decision that schoolboys must sit on toilet seats when urinating has provoked political debate.

The head of The Democrats Party, a splinter group of former Progress Party hardliners, Vidar Kleppe, is outraged that boys at Dvergsnes School in Kristiansand have to sit and pee.

Kleppe accuses the school of fiddling with God's work, and wants the matter discussed at the executive committee level of the local council, newspaper Dagbladet reports.

"When boys are not allowed to pee in the natural way, the way boys have done for generations, it is meddling with God's work," Kleppe told the newspaper.

"It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl," Kleppe said.

Principal Anne Lise Gjul at Dvergsnes School would not comment on Kleppe's plans to make political waves and regretted if anyone was offended by the ban on standing and passing water.

Gjul told NRK (Norwegian Broadcasting) that the young boys are simply not good enough at aiming, and the point was to have a pleasant toilet that could be used by both boys and girls.

(Aftenposten English Web Desk/NTB)
That is from a newspaper in Norway.

And to The Party Pooper, that's just plain funny.

It reminded me of a guy with the company that I work for. Jim L. is a really big, intimidating looking guy, but also happens to be a cracker jack engineer.

Jim L. would walk up to Satan himself and tell him EXACTLY what Jim L. thought of him. Fear is not in Jim's vocabulary.

I worked for three years with him on a program, and in the men's bathroom, like the Norwegian boys referred to above, there was a problem, shall we say, with men's accuracy when it came to using a urinal.

Jim L. would get so disgusted with this, that he would go to the janitor's closet, and run a bucket of mop water, and mop the men's bathroom.

Jim L. also let it be known, loudly and repeatedly, that he was displeased with the men's performance in this area of personal hygiene.

Finally, Jim L. put a sign in the men's room, right at eye level, exactly equidistant to the two urinals (right between 'em).

Jim L.'s professional looking sign, printed in color on a color laser printer and carefully placed into one of those clear plastic 3-ring binder paper protectors, stated:
Stand Closer: It's not as long as you think it is.
Jim L. started a long feud with this program's secretary (and self appointed guardian of wholesomeness and virtue, our very own Emily Post) by doing this.

You see, the day Jim L. chose to place his sign was a day on which the customer for whom we were building device X for, was in town to meet with us for a couple of days.

It was over in the afternoon before some rat went and told Secretary Lady about it. She immediately, at great risk of blindness, walked into the men's room and took down Jim's sign.

But the damage was done. The male representatives of that customer had seen the sign anyway.

They all thought it was a hoot.

From that day on, Secretary Lady kept a wary eye out for any unseemly shenanigans foisted on an otherwise unsuspecting engineering team.

All 6'3", 290 pounds of Jim L., well, actually he wasn't scared a bit.

But, the sign actually worked, and the floor in front of the urinals stayed clean.

For about 2 or 3 days.


Stay tuned for more The Party Pooper's Guide® posts, right here on Least Significant Bits.

That is all. Carry on.

8 comments:

Hammer said...

That's funny! I never understood people who nonchalantly pee on the floor like they don't care.

Babystepper said...

Hah! I love it!

My female friends and I all talk about how terrible men's aim is. All men. Our decision is, the men should clean the bathroom floor. Always.

There's a family in our community, one woman and three men, who are renowned for having to sit to pee. The woman (wife and mother) made the mistake of mentioning that she made all the men in her house sit. Now it's a bit of a town-wide joke. Heh heh heh

Qtpies7 said...

Haha!!!! I so want a sign like that! My hubby would kill me though.

Stam House said...

Too funny! Thanks for stoping by and living a comment!

Yes we are spelling our daughter's name the biblical way! and when people ask why with KAH we say, That is the way it's suppose to be written it's just everybody else that are spelling it wrong!!!! lol

Travis said...

Being raised by women, a fella perfects his aim early in life.

The lessons were learned well. I still miss occasionally, mostly when I'm sleepy, and I clean it up right away!

photowannabe said...

Too funny...glad you finally posted this.

ONwebCHECK said...

hehe - a new-tech-toilet. But I wuld pray that thing is working fine!

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