Thursday, April 24, 2008

More On My Stolen Cell Phone / The Cuss-O-Meter


I wrote a post the other day explaining how I had my cell phone stolen out of our van, and how Cell Phone Thief had free use of it for, like, three or four days.

Well, what I didn't talk about was that apparently Cell Phone Thief quickly told every friend of his all over the country about his new phone number.

But then AT&T killed the stolen phone and SIM card for me, and let me keep my number and reprogram my new phone and SIM card with the number.

The penalty that I've personally had to pay for keeping the same number is that I've been getting messages for days now from Cell Phone Thief's friends from all over America. No lie. I've been getting calls from all manner of strange area codes. I'm just thankful his friends are in America and didn't use all my minutes.

Cell Phone Thief's friends look to their rap stars of choice and Randy Jackson of American Idol fame for their lingo in the cell phone messages.

Consequently when I listen to the voice messages to see if by chance there might actually be a message for me in there (rare, I have few friends), about the only words I can make out most of the time are "Yo", "Dog", "Up in here" "mumblemumblemumble" and the like.

But yesterday I had two messages that, when heard back to back, made me laugh.

I now regret having deleted them immediately after listening to them, so I could transcribe them here, but the gist of the first one was: "Yo Dog, this is (unintelligible) and I've run out of Mo-F-in gas. I'm in Orlando, and need you to call me back RIGHT NOW! And come bring me some Mo-F-in gas, mayn! Call me back, mayn, NOW!" (Of course, he said Mo-F-in in unabbreviated form).

Since his "mayn" ain't got that number any more, it's MINE again, the dear caller didn't hear back from his target. He left a second message, which simply consisted of a string of muffled cuss words and shouted Yo!s and Gas! and generally cussing out his "mayn" for not calling him back and bringing him some gas.

I must say it was quite amusing to me.

Too bad Cell Phone Thief was unable to hear his friend in need.

Nah, not really. I'm hoping he gives Cell Phone Thief a good cussin' when he sees him next.


Speaking of cussin', I'm about as far from wanting to be "cool" or even knowing what things are cool when I see them, but the other day, I saw the Cuss-O-Meter on Miss Norma's Collecting My Thoughts blog and just had to go there and get one for my blog. The Cuss-O-Meter is down there on the right side, and shows what percentage of my blog is cuss words.

This is something that very much ranks as Way Cool in this decidedly un-cool man's world.

But then again, I'm still known to use the phrase, "All that AND a bag of chips," so what do I know about cool?

Notice, my Cuss-O-Meter is registering down in the "darnit" range (though I much prefer "dangit" to "darnit"). What a hoot.
The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou

4 comments:

Hammer said...

Maybe you should answer back and mess with these guys. I can just imagine the possibilities.

Qtpies7 said...

don't you ever feel like calling these guys back and letting them know their friend needs to steal a new phone?

Big Doofus said...

They should have made the Cuss-o-Meter graphic bigger. It's not taking up enough of your #$%^&*@ page.

Norma said...

Wow--you're even more cuss-challenged than I am!