I have been going through one of my own personal seasonal changes. From time to time I have to do some mental spring cleaning. I don't know how to explain it.
Depression is part of it, and it's brutal, but I learned long ago that when the dark times hit me, that's when I need to take stock and praise God for all of my blessings.
The result ends up with me pulling out of the funk, but the journey is not very enjoyable. It's filled with humongous ups and downs.
I know that there are people in my life that I love and want to help, but I cannot. It sets me reeling.
Song lyrics mean different things to different people, but as I tried to go to sleep last night, this song was on my ipod and some of the lyrics nailed pretty much how I feel right now. It's from a song called Freefall (from hand to hand) by the band Stavesacre:
Sleepless eyes open wide
before Heaven I stand again
If there's no winning this war tonight
I was wondering if you could steady my spinning head
And trusting gets harder now
I wish you were here beside me
My failures my fears and doubts have been haunting me
I'm just not who I thought I'd be
Freefall
weightless and terrified
On I go crossing over from living to so alive
And purified I know weeping is cast for the night
And joy...
So here's a link to an old post that y'all might not have read; it's called Help Someone Whenever You Can, Or, My S&H Green Stamps Guitar.
5 comments:
I know exactly how you feel and I hope that your spirits pick up soon!!!
How was Thanksgiving?
Jessica
That's a great story. I didn't know that about guitars. Our son didn't have the patience to learn to read music, but had an ability to mimic and a good ear, so we hired a guy to teach him to play by watching and imitating to him. He (39) plays all the time, and eventually did learn to read some music.
I hope the fog lifts soon.
You know who walks beside you through the good times and the bad. He's always there John. Hang on tight. The fog will lift.
Sue
I know what you mean. Right now I'm going through this really weird, depressing phase where things that really should make me happy don't (and everything seems to irritate me).
I hope that you start feeling better soon.
As the song says, it does seem that "trusting gets harder now" and I too, want to SEE God right there beside me...instead of just trusting he's there.
I think there are many people who feel as you do--you are not alone...and God understands. And he WILL send you encouragement. Look for it. Watch for it.
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