I have been going through one of my own personal seasonal changes.
From time to time I have to do some mental spring cleaning. I don't know how to explain it.
Depression is part of it, and it's brutal, but I learned long ago that when the dark times hit me, that's when I need to take stock and praise God for all of my blessings.
The result ends up with me pulling out of the funk, but the journey is not very enjoyable. It's filled with humongous ups and downs.
I know that there are people in my life that I love and want to help, but I cannot. It sets me reeling.
Song lyrics mean different things to different people, but as I tried to go to sleep last night, this song was on my ipod and some of the lyrics nailed pretty much how I feel right now. It's from a song called Freefall (from hand to hand) by the band Stavesacre:
Sleepless eyes open wide
before Heaven I stand again
If there's no winning this war tonight
I was wondering if you could steady my spinning head
And trusting gets harder now
I wish you were here beside me
My failures my fears and doubts have been haunting me
I'm just not who I thought I'd be
weightless and terrified
On I go crossing over from living to so alive
And purified I know weeping is cast for the night
So here's a link to an old post that y'all might not have read; it's called Help Someone Whenever You Can, Or, My S&H Green Stamps Guitar.