Monday, February 02, 2009
National Groundhog Abuse Day!
Well, chalk up another win for the animal abusers of the world.
That animal travesty known as "Groundhog Day" is today, and as has happened since the 1800's a bunch of schmucks in black coats and Abe Lincoln style top hats ripped a poor, hibernating beast from his peaceful winter's hibernation and woke him with the cheers of 13, 000 mentally deficient animal haters.
According to the perpetrators of this ancient pagan rite, there will be six more weeks of winter because the poor little fella saw his shadow this morning.
Let me get this straight.
They pull this hibernating wonder of God's creation from his toasty warm hole and loft him up above the cheers of thousands of idiots who should have still been in their warm beds if they had a lick of sense, and because it was sunny enough for the groundhog to have seen his shadow, this somehow means that there will be six more weeks of winter?
I think next year I'm gonna round up a bunch of my PETA friends and take a trip to Pennsylvania to throw red paint on all these vicious animal haters.
Do groundhogs not have teeth?
I really did like the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray though.
(Just kidding, people. I don't have any PETA friends, since I'm a life-long omnivore.)